YFriday, April 24, 2009' 5:30 pm
Last night , Tuition was awesome . Alep came again :D When he came by the door , he was wearing blue&black . That was what i was wearing (: We didn't even plan at all . (insertmanyhappyfaceshere) The girls did Physics while the Guys did Chemistry . Reached home at 11pm . Superduper tired , went to sleep straight away .
In the dream of mine , or should i just called it a Nightmare ? I was being cheated in front of my eyes . I really do love that person alot but idk why suddenly he was going with someone i really hate . He said , "Maybe its best for you to forget about me since i've created/made trouble/problems to you from the start , when you met me " Then he just walked away just like that . I was so depressed and heartbroken when he just left me hangging there . Truthfully , i woke up in the middle of the night about 3am and found myself crying . In that nightmare , i did something bad and horrible to myself . & i dont wish to say it here . All i could say is that , I lose alot of blood , and i mean ALOOT (!!!) When he left me there , i know deep down inside he still love me very much . If he still does , why must he leave me ? It wont do any good/better towards me too . Maybe you think that you will make her happy by cheating on me ? Thats what you think . Maybe im not being fair enough ? I already tried my best to understand her , but she's too much . I just hope that Nightmare will never be reality and will never appear in my Nightmare again ): Im really afraid now . Maybe what's best now is just to Cry/do stupid things? Im not willing to hurt myself but im just under alot of stress/pressure )': I swear im crying like a baby when im typing this out . & i didn't get to sleep last night after i woke up .
Today , before i went to school , my eyes was superduper swollen and red . I just had to tell the truth to my sister as she know's whats going on . After school , head to MacD with Rabia to spent the last time with her before she go for her Religious camp ): I will miss you babe . Do have fun yeah . So , reached home at 1.30pm , decided to have my afternoon nap as i need one badly . Woke up at 5pm , and here i am updating my blog . I just feel like letting it go , as Rabia said - "It wont do any better if i kept it inside " Thanks ! I will be going Tuition early today because i had to extend my studying hours for Amaths from now on . & i will be going Tuition alone again . I hope Tuition kiddos will attend today's lesson :D
P/S : Did i do something wrong ? Let me love you can ? Why is it so hard to trust someone you really love ?
