YFriday, October 10, 2008' 3:31 pm
This post i want to let all my feelings out plus some of my secrets.
I feel that its a must to let it out rather than hurting myself.
From what i saw/interpret , they are like using me. (So formal)
I thought i could depend very much on them but i wasn't myself.
I wasn't very much myslef when im them. Its kinda weird though.
Who the hells, dont trusts close ones when you know she trusts you back?(try to understand)
Im sick of following them around, when they know i'd love to join in.
Im tired of just nodding/saying yes or no just to make them satisfied.
Its such a waste for my secondary life that i've to go through such challenges.
I mean, just be straight forward will them? Im kinda srewed up man!
I know i ain't the friend you're looking for, i aint tall, skinny, pretty, everything that you are looking for. I love myslef for whatever im made of.
Well, they are like ignorant people, if i had the right to say that.
If they weren't so self-centered i could just say it face to face.
I still want them to be my friends just friends. I dont think they could be more than that to me.
It will never be a happy ending if im close to them.
Wouldn't it be nice if she forget the past and start a new future.
Please, im begging to them dont act this way to me. I have other friends that i can depend on too.
Im just hoping to get back with them and start to get things over.
Cover up the gaps in life and it would be simpler. I need to be myslef for once, can i?
I have to be asking them, to do this do that? What am i to them?Slave?Begger?maid?
i have no intention of leaving them but im only left with two options.
One, continuing with them and always lie or two, start a new beginning and be honest.
I had to do the right thing for once, that is be honest to myself.
If they weren't there for me, who will? they couldn't always entertaining my stupid crappy stories all night long, will they? But i know others will, friends who are more concern and tell their part of life too.
Its just a matter of the decision i make, whether im heading the right path or not.
Lets just hope i'll make the right path despite of making they angry and hate me.
Well, thats a chapter to begin my wastful-used up life!
Thats only in school, there's more at home and myself too.
I cant managed to tell everything at my blog, because it would be boring!(like, of course)
But if they are now reading this post, maybe they will spot some mistakes(they always do!)
Laughing/making fun of the mistakes. I would be very glad to hear that because everyone make their own silly mistakes. Like you didn't ?! Try to make this way, lets sort things out over.
Till then, get back to you guys soon!
P/S: Im happy that all my great friends are happy with me again. :D
